Estella (psychtraveller) wrote in teenscene,
Estella
psychtraveller
teenscene

Hi, Im the mod

My name is Selina and I hope yall have a nice time here. You can talk about anything under the sun, especially if you have teenage problems like if your family doesnt care for you, and you try commiting suicide, or if you have relationship problems (GF, BF probs) or you have trouble making friends cause you're really shy etc. Since Im the mod, let me introduce myself. Im 25, graduating this semester, without a boyfriend.. although I do have 1 close guy friend..maybe I can be the first one to start.

My friend, I like him a lot and I love him a lot too, but he doesnt ever tell me that he likes me. Even when I ask, his answer is ambiguous. And when I do go out with him, we always end up in the hotel rm. Im sad. I dont know what to do with him. Any words of comfort? :)
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
  • 7 comments
Is he really a friend? I mean, do you spend a lot of time with him enjoying different activities - or even just sitting around watching movies you both want to see - in other words, how "close" are you, really? Think very carefully about this man. Are you relaxed and yourself when you're with him? or do you feel anxious to please, a bit nervous, maybe unsure of how to act at times? You say you end up in bed with him more often than not, but don't do much besides that. Well, the sex might be real fun, but don't read so much into that, because it doesn't necessarily go hand-in-hand with LOVE; it's often exclusive of it. You may be very attracted to this guy, but it doesn't sound like he's feeling the same way - he might like you, but he doesn't need to love you in order to like the sex. Don't be sad; you DO connect with him on some good levels, but there's a GREAT guy right around the corner in your life. I guarantee you this: Because You are one VERY valuable person,if the one you're with doesn't treat you like GOLD, then you simply need to have the patience to wait for the one who will.
Wow, thank you! This advice is very good, and I think you're right!

Well, Ive left him already cause nothing seemed to be changing LOL. But I guess Ill wait for that guy who will treat me like gold. Thank you. :)
Can I ask you another question? How do you get closer to a person you like?
It's all circumstantial. You don't mention how you know this person - co-worker? neighbor? friend of a friend? To answer your question fairly, one would need to know the connection. For example, if the person was a co-worker, you may already have restrictions in place regarding dating, and that would pose a problem right off. If this is a current friend, then getting closer might mean encouraging more togetherness activities - playing a board game (chess?), maybe joining together with a new interest (a gym class, indie movie), etc. However, if you mean to stimulate a love interest, it's important not to be too forward in your intentions. In my experience, a man is more attracted to the unattainable, and desires the chase. And here's the rub: if you are friends with him now, and he has not indicated a desire to get closer, then the chemistry probably isn't there for him to take the relationship to the next level. Great friends don't always make for great lovers.
Icic. But I am quite a forward person, cause Im frank, outspoken, really really friendly and open. What do I do then? I like to give and give them everything they want. Is that a problem????
Also, everytime I begin a new friendship with a person, things tend to turn somehow and before I know it, hes playing hanky panky with me and has his hands all over me! I figure from that he doesnt respect me, and only wants to land me in the sack! Why does that happen?


:)
If your personality and behavior are open and inviting, then he already knows you are interested in a closer relationship. If he has not responded to your overt invitations, then it's a pretty sure bet he's not willing to step up the heat level. If you're giving him everything he wants without getting what you want in return, then yours is a very uneven relationship that you must rethink. Your needs are important, and if you are not fulfilled, then this is a weak connection at best, and you might wish to lift your eyes away from this one to be ready to see a better one.