Choosing a man...

Could somebody help me??? I was wondering what kind of men suit me. Im a personality kind of girl.(girl next door) Im nice, friendly, sweet, dont like disputes and fighting, sharing, open, shy etc.

Could you tell me what will happen when I get men who are..... skinny, cute, exciting, always making jokes, romantic, know what I mean?
Im like that too, but the other way. What will I get from them, and what wont I get?

And then there are those guys who you always have to take care of but for sex!!! They are players arents they? What do I and dont I get from them?

What other kinds of guys are out there for me?

I like guys who are non abusive, caring, loving, kind, understanding, good heart, good head, exciting, communicative, caring, and will love me for who I am.

Could you help me please???

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New here.

I had a live journal once before, but I had no friends on it and I just wrote. I got a new one and decided to use it differently.
I'm 17 years old, I'm a guy, and I'm in my senior year in high school. I want to keep my name Tater, or rather, I want to keep my real name anonymous. Last journal I had someone googled my name and found all of my stuff. It's rather personal what I write.
I decided that it doesn't matter if random people I don't know read my stuff, what can they do? But someone I know, learning all that about me? That was pretty awkward.
I love to help people. Keep that in mind, don't forget me. =]
I'm a nerd on the inside, but I don't look it. Maybe I'll put up a user pic of me later on.
Straight A's and all that. I Obey the speed limit [to some extent.] That kind of guy.
People that first know me don't know I'm a nerd write away. A video game playing, math loving, kind of guy. They see a skinny kid who is hilarious and seems to get along with everyone. Which is true... =]

Regardless, get to know me, I'm friendly.
I love writing. Obviously...

Please read and pass along.

  By:  http://blancheblack.blogspot.com/



Let me let you in on a little secret: Despite all their posturing, men are actually really vulnerable to women, and most men will do anything to hide this. Every day, they obsess over women’s bodies, women’s sensuality, women’s opinions of them, their ability to please women romantically and in bed…. and how to cover all that up under the illusion that they are indifferent to whether women like them or not. Some common ways men are encouraged to prove this indifference to themselves and others include disrespectful talk about women with the guys, trying to hurt women’s feelings, and generally defying what women want. Curiously, all such attempts from them seem to require an audience, usually male, which operates as a pep rally for psyching themselves out until they actually believe themselves.

They go to great lengths to hide their constant vulnerability towards the opposite sex from themselves. In relationships, they might hold on to this persistent façade by arguing, being contradictory, teasing and pushing buttons, and acting out in brazen selfishness with anything from using porn to blowing off household chores.

The thing about denial, however, is that the charade used to mask what one is so ashamed of has to escalate in intensity in order to keep blocking out one’s ever-nagging consciousness of it. And so you see some men making public attempts to provoke women with insults, making a show of indifference towards women’s unhappiness with them, speaking about women in a diminutive way with terms that trivialize their womanhood, and even acting out in physical ways against women. They make a hobby out of denying their emotional vulnerability to women’s approval of them, apparently bitter that women still dominate their thought life.

The fact that so many men work so hard to act this way in front of an audience shows just how much their behavior is an attempt to change their social image rather than being an indication of how they actually feel. Why do they have to prove their emotional invulnerability to others if they are so secure about it? Why put so much effort into denying something if they don't have something to hide?

It’s just like what many of us experienced with boys back in elementary school: boys often went out of their way to provoke, insult, and otherwise annoy the girls they actually liked and wanted to be around in order to prevent them and everyone else from knowing it. (Brilliant, eh? Lot of good it did them).

So, if men’s posturing and arguing don’t necessarily indicate what they want, but how they want to appear, what are they hiding? Consciously or subconsciously, men want more than anything to be wanted by women, to be able to attract the focused attention of the woman they're pursuing to the same degree that she attracts they're attention, which is a lot. Why do you think they drop their guy friends so readily once they get love-struck by some mysterious woman?

This means that whatever behavior of his manages to draw her attention and keep it on him largely determines how he treats her, whether that be because he is charming her or pissing her off.

When a man is really interested in a woman, whatever she wants in a man is what he wants to be for her, because he wants his already intense attention and appreciation of her womanly charms to be reciprocated. If she accommodates her own interests, he will adjust his behavior to ensure he continues to remain one of them. Once he has that reciprocation, however, he’s got what he wants so he has no reason to change what he’s doing. That’s alright if what he’s doing is bending over backwards to please you, but not if he’s slacking off. Give a man his ego trip and your attention and he’ll take both. Make him choose between the two and, if he’s into you, he’ll eventually choose your attention and drop the attitude.

Behavior therapy is very handy for this purpose.

The incentive for a man to leave his comfort zone and charm a woman is her expression of pleasure and approval when he responds in a charming way. Consistent acknowledgement of what a man does right will evoke more of the same from him, and willingness to go even beyond that to do other things you suggest. Expressing satisfaction when he does it right is the key to keeping it going.

All men, however, are prone to slip into the selfish modes of their upbringing. If they think they can’t be what a woman wants, they will settle for negative attention from a woman and begin to provoke her. Often, women can reinforce a bad behavior in a man just by giving him extra attention for it, even if it’s negative attention. That’s why negative attention towards men, like nagging or throwing dishes at them, rarely keeps a bad behavior of theirs at bay for very long- it is still a type of attention. This is where your honesty about how his behaviors turn you on or off comes in handy, if it’s expressed as an increase or decrease in your interest.

One of the best ways to discourage a bad behavior then is to highlight your lack of interest in it. Whether he’s just getting to know you or he already knows better, let the loss of your attention be the punishment for his disrespectful or difficult attitude by taking distance from him in whatever way works best for you.

If he complains about your cooking, for example, have him cook for himself the following night while you go out to dinner with a friend. If he teases you or makes jokes at your expense, look at him as if he’s speaking gibberish and acting unusually strange, then postpone your Saturday night plans with him to go out with the ladies to a hot comedy club instead. It will be much funnier than him, apparently. If he argues with your personal decisions, or pressures you to change them, cut your time with him short by saying you have to get up early in the morning and need the whole bed to yourself to get a full night’s rest. Subtle reminders that you have other things you can be doing and other people to see will usually snap a man out of his indifference act.

If he repeats any of these negative behaviors, tell him directly what you don’t like about what he’s doing, and what behavior you want from him instead. If he persists despite your warning, tell him to leave so you can re-evaluate the relationship, then ignore his calls. Don’t argue. Take space and cool down. He’ll regret it later. A woman doesn’t have to get emotional and upset to teach a man a lesson. Just give him a choice.

If you’re in a female-led relationship, you can make a policy of stopping a heated argument by tying him to a chair in the bedroom for a little while and getting other things done around the house. Don’t forget to gag him! It gives him time to calm down and rethink his approach and it gives you time to do something you enjoy instead. Finish that book you’re in the middle of, or order take-out and relax in front of a rented movie.

To complete his lessons, wait until he shows a change of heart and until you’re feeling better, and then give him a chance to rephrase what he was trying to say before. Tell him what behavior you want from him instead of what he did, what type of behavior will please you, and have him do a few practice runs with you right then and there. When he does it to your satisfaction, reinforce this with some light praise.

Then, just to prove to the both of you that he can earn back your trust and confidence in him, assign him an unpleasant task or duty as a punishment for having upset you in the first place. It will prove just how sorry he really is for putting you down and being knowingly offensive. It can be cleaning toilets, buying tampons at a crowded supermarket, or bending over to take a spanking of some sort. You’d be surprised how much better you’ll feel once he accomplishes this as a token of his commitment to change his attitude. And once he endures it, he will feel much more optimistic about trying to be the man you want, now that he has a way to make up for his possible failures and start over with a clean slate from you. The more a man thinks he can be what a woman wants, and knows she won’t tolerate anything less, the more he will try for the positive attention rather than the negative attention.

In fact, assigning a man tasks that benefit you, especially tasks that challenge him, and showing him positive attention when he carries them out, strengthens this positive dynamic, increasing your trust in and satisfaction with him and increasing his sense of adventure in pleasing you.

Physical challenges are the best. Ask him if he can cook a three course French meal totally nude without burning himself or the food. See if he can carry both you and the groceries up the stairs and through the front door at the same time. Have him vacuum the whole house each day with 20-pound weights on his arms and legs. That will help get him in shape. Suggest he practice Kegel exercises and see how many times in a row you can have sex without him losing his erection. There are endless variations on this theme. Make sure when he succeeds to show him how excited and pleased you are by the results of his hard work. Challenge him to make slightly larger sacrifices of his comfort zone than he is used to in order to accommodate your sense of fun, and both of you will be excited when he exceeds his previous achievements. It will increase his excitement about making you ultra happy.

These are just the basics, of course. A woman can develop her own strategies along these same principles, according to what she knows about her partner, and the relationship will take on its own style of conflict resolution and romance.

Training a man is all about a woman getting the most from her man for the building of intimacy in the relationship, which requires him to come out of his privileged status so he can get to know and relate to her more. Helping him break free from ridiculous corporate myths and personal denial by confronting him with his desire for and attraction to her is all part of it. Why should other men's delusions control his state of mind towards her and get in the way of the intimacy between them?

 

(no subject)

Hey guys,
my name's Aamira ( I have a different username because my name was taken)
I live in London and go to a girl's school so won't be posting anything about boy troubles anytime soon. All the same, add me because I have a lot of stuff to say and to discuss which are really hard to talk to with people who just aren't interested. Nothing's worser talking about something that really animates you when the other person doesn't give a crap. So...add me if you like what I like or just want me to read your blog.

Favourite Music: Fallout Boy, Panic At The Disco, The Wombats, The Killers, Gorrillaz, Outkast, Michael Jackson (obvs, ) Jason Mraz, Kings of Leon, All American Rejects, The Kooks, Justin Timberlake, The Rocket Summer, You Me At Six, Metrostation

Favourite programmes: Gossip Girl; Grey's Anatomy; Hollyoaks; Friends; Big Bang Theory; Smallville; One Tree Hill; The OC; Gilmore Girls; House M.D; Prison Break;

Favourite books: The Da Vinci Code; Harry Potter; Noughts Crosses Trilogy; Memoirs Of A Geisha; Angels And Demons; A Series Of Unfortunate Events; Brick Lane; Pride And Prejudice; A Thousand Splendid Suns; Gone

Favourite movies; Harry Potter; She's The Man; Transformers; Indiana Jones Saga; White Chicks; Lord Of The Rings; Finding Nemo; Star Wars; Mr. And Mrs. Smith; Angus Thongs And Full Frontal Snogging;The Ring; St Trinians; Batman Movies; X Men Movies esp. Wolverine; Oceans 11,12,13; Shrek;

Like what you see? Add me!

(no subject)

heyy everyone! so i'm new to this group. but i already have issues to talk about. lol.

so if any of you have read my journal, then you will know what this is about. but for those of you who don't know, let me give you a little background...
.....i started liking this guy at work about three months ago. he's amazing in every way shape and form. and i fell hard for him, and fast. a friend at work told him, as well as everyone else on the planet, that i like him. he didn't really say too much, but it was a bit awkward after that. until i saw him the next morning at the DMV. (haha.) and he seemed really happy to see me :) so anyway....here's the issue...

....he's coming to my school. which....shouldn't be a problem right?
..wrong. i spent all summer getting him to notice me and become friends with him and get him to like me? maybe. idk how he feels. but i think he might. now, this amazingly gorgeous party guy is coming to my school. i know he's gonna be attacked by all the hott, rich, popular girls. i just know it. i can feel it already, and he's not even here yet. i feel like i'm going to lose everything i've done to get his attention, being friends. i'm so afraid that once he comes here; he won't think i have amazing eyes, or that i have a pretty smile; once he sees the girls in this school i'm so afraid of him forgetting about me :[
  • Current Mood
    scared scared
love

Intro!

Name: Brandon
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Location: Pennsylvania, America
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Favorite color: Black
Favorite animal: Fox
Favorite movie: Little Miss Sunshine
Favorite book: The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Favorite song: Dramamine - Modest Mouse, Creep - Radiohead
Favorite band: My Chemical Romance
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    So hey! I just joined LiveJournal recently, and I've started my very own personal blog. I kind of just want to make friends and learn things, and so on and so forth. My blog is basically just about me, my opinions, etc. I've been looking for a good teen-oriented community and I couldn't find one until now!
    So yeah. I'm your average teenager. I go to a small public high school and have plenty of friends. I do tend to wear clothes that might be described as 'scene' but I'm not part of that clique, exactly. I like loud music with screaming or a banjo... Urm... AND I want to make friends!
    So yeah. If you want to be my friend, just hit me up with a message or friend's request!
    Kay, thanks!

Brandon
  • Current Music
    Hey There Fancypants - Ween

What am I supposed to think?

So my girlfriend and I decided to go on a break about 3 months ago, but we were still hanging out and hooking up during that time.  We both enjoyed being with each other but also having the freedom to be with other people.  Two weeks ago, we both moved into the same house (a giant house that is being shared by about 30 college students), and we began to act like a couple again.  Neither of us hooked up with anyone else, we spent pretty much every second together, and we slept together every night.  Then I went home to the East Coast for a week to see my family.  In the middle of the week my ex/non/semi girlfriend called me saying that she was unhappy and that she needed to know that we were together now, otherwise she was going to replace me with the wrong person simply to fill the empty void inside of her.  I wanted to get back together with her, so I said ok, although I had had no idea that she was unhappy and had thought we had been happily rekindling our relationship before I left.  THEN, when I got back, my girlfriend told me that she had had sex with some football player 2 days after I'd left for Connecticut.  I flipped out.  Now I'm not sure I want to get back together with her -- how could she have had sex with someone 2 days after I left but still wanted to get back together with me?  Am I overreacting?  Am I failing to see her side? 

  • Current Music
    Death Cab's "I Will Follow You Into The Dark"

Help

Okay, so i'm new to all of this, and don't know how to go about livejournalling. I figured i'd join a group and a teenage one seemed like the most sensical and, well, here I am. Any comments on my post would be greatly appriciated, or even just someone to explain how this thing works (besides the typing stuff out, clicking buttons, which i think i've mastered) 
Anyway, any interest would be great. Thanks! (:
  • Current Mood
    confused confused

I'd love to hear it.

He ya'll. 
My name's Laura, I'm 17 from Portland, OR. 
I have a new journal and am always asking for advice and ranting about crap. 
I'd love to have people I don't know read my stuff and get their opinions. 
Ta.